Mariner writes today from a tribal encampment. It is a gathering of his wife’s family anchored by nine cousins. Events like this allow folks to experience genuine Homo sapiens behavior. There is a restoration of family values, shared experiences and renewed emotional dependencies. There is recognition of those who have passed on.
The reunion is based in a wilderness park. One section of the park has small cabins in a semi-circle which have been used for every reunion, held every five years since 1981. Typically, each cousin rents a cabin and brings their immediate family.
Social and political issues are deliberately suppressed. Conversations often are about catching up on other families’ histories and sharing unusual life events. Each day has a planned event which requires all the attendees to share in preparing a central meal. Families can pursue swimming in the lake, playing golf in the nearby town and have a canoe flotilla on a large river adjacent to the park.
There is a heightened desire to belong and to share; one relative provided enough koozies so that everyone had the same logo.
The reunion has been occurring long enough that it is multi-generational with not just the cousins but their children and grandchildren. Activity definitely is varied and all-consuming. The intense sharing consumes a lot of behavioral energy. After a week, attendees, not being accustomed to such continuous, interactive behavior, may feel it was a restorative experience but they may be relieved that the reunion has come to an end.
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A reunion today is a critical event. Every family tribe should make every effort to have a reunion because the resultant behavior creates a ‘human’ bonding which is not easily available in everyday life and is rapidly disappearing. This kind of human bonding is anchored in the evolution of the Homo species; it is the biological key to successful economics, politics and mental health.
As late as the 17th century, the economic process still was dependent on large family productivity. A classic example today is the conservative Amish who share building, feeding and sustaining wellbeing. Even religion, while generally Christian, has unique values in each sect. Personal need and survivability came from the local ‘tribe’ comprising several branches of a single ancestral generation. In the U.S, this took the form of family farming and local trades.
Given all the daily interdependency back then, reunions were not too important, usually wrapped around religious or regional holidays. Interdependency as a way of surviving, however, kept the species alive. It has kept the species alive for about 150,000 years.
The world we live in today has, at every turn, encouraged personal independence and discourages the desire to sustain tribal relationships. Ever since trains and tractors broke the tribal need, each further invention has made interpersonal relations less important. Regular readers know mariner’s despise for many of the industrial/computer invasions.
Set up a gathering of your tribe today!
Ancient Mariner