It’s one of those times again when mariner’s wife has gone visiting for a few days. There are several related responses to his sudden isolation. On the first day, there is a sense of free space where decorum is ignored. Eat when one wants to eat – and what one wants to eat; don’t make the bed; don’t shave; sleep often; tinker with small projects; if one is a reader, read; maybe go shopping for that odd item that normally isn’t worth the overhead. The street term for this response is called ‘Batching’, short for bacheloring – although the behavior is practiced by males and females.

After the first day, time is invested in bottom-of-the-jar tasks like fixing the storm door; making the laptop behave correctly; paint the basement; potting and propagating garden plants; clean the attic. Although unusually motivating, these tasks are huge and may end in an unfinished quagmire.

By the third day, one is aware that control of daily life has been lost. Maybe one should make a list of mandatory tasks to be done daily, like make the bed, do the dishes, feed the pets, etc. Slowly, however, loneliness begins to set in.

On the fourth day, loneliness sets in big time – especially in the evenings. One realizes how irrelevant televisions are; Alexi just doesn’t measure up as company; to many, the smartphone is a secret tunnel into Neverland (or netherworld) – just for awhile.

So the new life is quiet, unengaging and unrewarding. Slowly, the mind begins to adapt to a new life dedicated to survival. It is a quiet life with no big rewards and no acknowledgement for that life, either. This is the critical time when one must reach out to the community or severe depression creeps in. If nothing less, go to a public event of any kind or volunteer to help someone with a task or visit your nearest (within reason) relative (within reason).

Before the spouse departs, an agreed communication process should be arranged. One day can be spent traveling to a desired place like a forest, a beach, or even tour a museum – just a quiet, time consuming visit.

Hooray!! the spouse returns. Did you empty the trash in time? make the bed? sweep the floor? clean up the kitchen? shower, shave, shampoo, and trim your toenails?

Fortunately, love is blind (almost).

Ancient Mariner